


With Wax Melted, I'd Meet The Sea

by SeamstressShanked



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M, Magical Shenanigans, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Time Travel, will tag other characters as they appear in subsequent chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:53:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22982803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeamstressShanked/pseuds/SeamstressShanked
Summary: Steve sets out to return the Infinity Stones, and finds a little more than he bargained for along the way.(Alternatively: Steve and Loki take an unexpected space/time road trip together, shenanigans ensue)
Relationships: Loki & Steve Rogers, Loki/Steve Rogers
Comments: 36
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So if the MCU doesn't have to make any sense when telling a story, I figured I don't either! Started this after Endgame came out and it got sidelined by other projects, but I rediscovered it a few weeks ago and I'm picking it back up. Highly self indulgent and I'm very ok with that, but hopefully some of y'all will enjoy the ride too (the ride being basically "Steve finds Loki and they go on space/time roadtrip doing what the fuck ever"). 
> 
> Thanks to my partner for putting up with my eternal project hopping ways and saving me from the worst of my own poor grammar and formatting.

It wasn't exactly that Steve expected to find Loki.

He and the others had concluded that, among putting the stones back, he'd probably need to at least look into Loki and the tesseract’s whereabouts, to clean up the mess they'd made and ensure he didn't come back later to wreak havoc. So Bruce had outfited him with an additional device, to hopefully help him track Loki and the tesseract’s energy signatures, based on what research they'd had from the time surrounding his invasion attempt. 

Because while Thor had assured them Loki had changed before he met his untimely demise, this was a different Loki, a Loki from before. One who had not had time to grow, to change or heal, one still consumed by a madness born of a vengeful spirit, warped further by what they now knew to be the torture and control of Thanos. An unstable, powerful sorcerer loose with an infinity stone would likely come back to bite them all, eventually, which is what led Steve to this moment. 

He found himself on a small planet, little more than a desolate moon, at the mouth of a cave. The little device on his wrist indicated that what he was looking for was further in, and as he slowly started forward he realized how wildly under prepared he was, if he did actually find Loki here. The bulk of their planning for this aspect had simply been ‘if you find him get the tesseract back’. Steve was pretty sure none of them had really thought they'd be able to find him, or considered how much of a fight he was likely to put up.

In retrospect it seemed like very poor planning, but then again, they'd all just come through hell and no one really expected to find him. But as Steve worked his way deeper into the cave, he realized this was a possibly grave mistake, as a distinctive blue glow from further in became more pronounced. 

Coming around the bend, Steve found a smaller chamber, the blue glow coming from within, and he tightened his grip on his shield and the hammer. (He hadn’t returned it yet, in case he might need it. Really the only thing he had returned was the other tesseract, unsure of what having two of them in the same place might do on the off chance he did find Loki.)

The tesseract was sitting unattended on a little rocky ledge, emitting its persistent light. And on the far side of the room, a dark shape was laying on the ground. As his eyes adjusted, he realized it was Loki, curled up with his back to Steve and the tesseract.

It felt like some kind of trick, a trap that would be sprung the moment he reached for the cube. But even as he took the risk, setting down his weapons, Loki did not stir, and his gloved hand closed on the cube. He secured it in his pack- a modification after he'd gone to drop off the first tesseract and someone nearly walked away with the case mistakenly- slinging it back over his shoulder and onto his back.  
  


Tesseract secured, Steve wasn’t sure what to do from there. Should he wake Loki, try to subdue and apprehend him to return to when he’d escaped from? Would he even be able to, alone as he was? He could just leave him there, with no way to leave or escape that Steve knew of. Almost as soon as the idea came to mind, he discarded it as too cruel. He knew what this Loki was capable of, what he’d just done and what his current state of mind was, but if Thor and Bruce were to be believed, he was clearly capable of being better. Even if he wasn’t, it wasn’t in Steve to leave him to such a fate if he could help it. 

Picking up Mjolnir and his shield once more and moving forward slowly, he let his feet fall a little heavier, hoping it would alert Loki to his presence. But Loki still didn’t move, and so as he got within a few feet of him, he called to him.  
  
“Loki?”  
  


The figure stirred, sluggishly, as though trying to rouse from a heavy sleep. Steve called to him again, taking a step back as he did, unsure of how Loki would react. The second time he spoke though, it seemed to finally catch up to Loki that someone else was there, and he sat up hurriedly, scrambling to face Steve, even as he also scrambled back until his back hit the wall. 

And that was when Steve noticed, with some shock, that Loki was still cuffed and muzzled. It hadn’t even occurred to him, having not only forgotten about them, but figuring Loki could magic his way out of any restraints once he was out from under Thor’s thumb, as it were. He looked more gaunt than he had before, tired and paler and worn thin, leaving Steve to wonder how long it had been for him since he’d made his escape (which he should have probably been paying more attention to). What struck him next was the sheer panic in Loki’s eyes, where he’d recalled only hatred and arrogance before. 

But it seemed as soon as Loki actually recognized him, irritation and disdain returned. He looked as though he wanted to say something snappy, rendered unable by the metal over his mouth. But as he took in Steve, his eyes landed on Mjolnir in his grip, and the surprise that registered across what part of his face that could be seen would’ve been comical if the whole situation didn’t have Steve on edge. Something about this seemed off, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. He made a decision, putting his weapons down carefully and slowly coming forward.

“I’m going to see if I can get that thing off your face, ok?”  
  
Loki eyed him suspiciously, but didn’t move to get away or attack him as he drew closer. He knelt, reaching towards the side of Loki’s face to check for a catch or release on the muzzle. As he did so, he could see how still Loki was holding himself, clearly bracing for something, as though he was expecting the contact to hurt. Steve filed that away for later, as he continued to look for a way to remove the contraption.  
  


His thumb slid over a spot near the jaw, and with a click and a hiss, the muzzle fell away. He caught it, pulling his hands back quickly, and placing it near the shield. Loki worked his jaw for a minute, bringing his own hands up to rub at his mouth. Realizing his mouth must be dry, and having no idea how long Loki had been muzzled, Steve reached for his water bottle, without taking his eyes off him, opening it and carefully offering it to him. 

Loki eyed it suspiciously, so Steve took a sip and offered again. “It’s just water, here.” He told him, and this time Loki slowly accepted the bottle, and took a few cautious sips before returning it. Glancing up at Steve, he seemed to be considering what to say, before he cleared his throat and spoke. 

“Thanks are in order, I suppose. Unless you were sent to kill me, or return me to pay for my crimes. How did you even get here? I did not think your people were capable of such travels yet.”  
  


“I haven’t come to kill you!” Steve sputtered, a little affronted that Loki would think as much. “I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet, though. As for how I got here,” He sighed heavily, “it’s a long story.”

Loki’s eyes narrowed, and he took in Steve’s appearance more carefully. The way he was looking at him made Steve suddenly uncomfortable, as though Loki might see right through him and know everything that had transpired to bring him here. 

“I am sure it is. However…” Loki started, trailing off as he looked around the cave. Realization dawned on him, and he scrambled to his feet.  
  


“Where is it, what have you done with it?” He was almost frantic, eyes darting around as he got his legs under him. 

Startled, Steve jumped to his feet as well, backing up towards the hammer in the process, just in case. 

“You know I can’t let you keep it, don’t you?” He asked carefully, watching Loki’s reaction closely.

“I need it, you don’t understand, you have no idea! I have to..” He trailed off, looking past Steve to where the tesseract had been.

“You have to what, give it to Thanos? D’you really think that’s gonna help anything?” Steve snapped, before he could stop himself. 

Loki looked like he’d been slapped, shock plain on his face before his expression went abruptly, disturbingly, blank, and Steve knew he’d said the wrong thing. 

“Do not speak to things which you do not know, Captain.”   
  


“At this point I know a hell of a lot more than you think I do.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. He had no idea why he’d felt the need to say that.   
  
Several emotions flickered briefly across Loki’s face, before they were replaced with a nasty look and sharp smile. 

“Do you, now? Well then certainly you know I need it for my own ends, and cannot let you leave here with it, or let you return me to the Odinson’s keeping.” He stood taller, drawing up to his full height. It occurred to Steve that Loki was putting on a mask, the way he moved, hiding his uncertainty and possibly even fear behind a guise of ego, cruelty, and swagger. He wondered that he never noticed before, probably because there was too much going on then.

“You really think giving the tesseract to Thanos is going to help _you_ achieve anything?” He had yet to hear Loki even acknowledge the name, despite having a reaction to it, and that was starting to worry him a little. Loki faltered a bit, the edges of his wicked grin dulling ever so slightly. 

“You think he’s going to help you accomplish any of your harebrained schemes?” Steve pressed on, “D’you have any idea what he’s working towards, that as soon as he gets what he wants from you he’ll toss you out like yesterday’s trash? That what you want means nothing to him, so long as he gets what he’s after?”  
  


“Do you think me so stupid that I would not know that already? I am aware of what he intends for me now that I have failed, I am aware that I would not have had a true victory!” Loki finally snapped. “I do not wish to give him the tesseract if it can be avoided, I wish to use it to…” He cut off, looking away sharply, clearly embarrassed that he said even that much. 

It took a moment, and then it clicked. Loki didn’t take the tesseract to bargain, Loki took it so he could get away, so he could hide. As he looked at the shame creeping across Loki’s face, he wondered about the details he didn’t know, trying to tie pieces of what he knew of Loki’s history from Thor and what he knew of Thanos’ training of his underlings from Nebula together to get a clearer picture of where that left Loki now. And slowly, the beginnings of an idea started to form in the back of his mind, a possible alternative that wouldn't necessitate returning Loki to meet his nasty fate, or leaving him here to die alone. 

And that’s when Loki dropped suddenly, swinging out to swipe his legs out from under him. 

Steve managed to jump back, just in time, ducking as Loki swung his shackled fists around and aimed for his head. Grabbing Mjolnir and the shield, he raised the shield and used it to charge Loki while he was still off balance, driving him back against the wall, holding the hammer at the ready. 

No knives, no illusionary doubles, no magical blasts. If Steve had to hazard a guess based on rusty memories, the cuffs were suppressing the bulk of his magical abilities, which made him slightly less dangerous, but only just. He was clearly still fast, and strong, and as wily as ever. Loki put his hands up as best he could, grin like a slash across his face. 

“Well you couldn’t have thought I’d go back without at least some fight.” Loki quipped, even as his eyes darted nervously to the hammer. “How did you even come into possession of that? I can hardly believe Thor would part with it, though I cannot say I am surprised that it finds you of all people worthy.”

“I said I haven’t decided if I’m taking you back yet or not, you really didn’t need to pull that.” Steve’s mouth twisted in a half-hearted grimace, but he didn’t take his eyes off Loki as he continued, “And like I also said already, it’s a long story.” 

Loki arched an eyebrow, waiting a few moments before saying anything else, clearly thinking over his next words. 

“If you decide to return me to either your people’s keeping or Asgard’s, I’d have you know I’d rather you kill me than send me back. But if you are going to take some time to consider, why don’t we sit and you can tell me your long story, if you think you’d deign to tell one such as myself what has been going on.” He gave a little self deprecating smile, gesturing with his bound hands ever so slightly at the floor. 

Steve considered his options. This Loki was still more volatile, likely shouldn’t be trusted. But he’d seen small chinks in his armor, so to speak, and it might help this Loki to get himself back together, knowing some of what happened. Steve wasn’t entirely sure why he should care, but having heard so many stories from Thor, and later even from Bruce, seeing now how his rage and grief might have been played up and against him, he couldn’t help but feel like maybe even Loki deserved a chance. And if he went through with the likely unwise idea that was taking root in his mind, it would not only ultimately spare Loki pain, but Thor as well. 

And maybe Steve needed to get some things off his chest too, just a bit. 

He backed up, giving Loki space to sit, taking a seat himself only after Loki had. Keeping the shield between them, he placed Mjolnir beside him, leaning on the shield and looking Loki over. After a moment’s thought, he reached into a pouch on his belt and pulled out a protein bar, which he offered to Loki. 

Loki eyed the bar, clearly unsure of what it was and hesitant to take it. Sighing, Steve opened the packaging and took a small bite, visibly chewing and swallowing it.   
  


“It’s food, and it’s not poisoned. Here, take it.” He offered again, watching as Loki slowly reached out and took it. He sniffed it, but didn’t bother showing any other signs of distrust or even pickiness (which Steve would have expected, if he was being honest), taking a bite and chewing carefully. 

“Thank you.” Loki said, after swallowing. 

Steve nodded, a little surprised by the small politeness, but not willing to draw attention to it in case it would disrupt whatever delicate balance they currently had. It also seemed like he should be polite in turn, and let Loki finish eating before he started in on his story. He didn’t scarf it down, exactly, but he took bites quickly and chewed only a little slower, as though he both worried the food would be taken from him but didn’t want it to be gone too fast. Steve looked away after a moment, realizing he was staring and not wanting Loki to catch him doing so. 

When he was done, Loki cleared his throat, looking at Steve expectantly. 

  
“So, have you decided yet whether you will tell me of how you came to possess the Odinson’s prized weapon, and of the events that now haunt your face with such new weariness?” There was a smirk at the corners of his mouth as he asked, sitting straight backed, his hands in front of him and forearms resting against his thighs. 

Sighing, Steve ran a hand through his hair before adjusting to get comfortable, both arms resting along the top edge of the shield as he leaned on it. 

“Yeah, I guess I can tell you some of it. I’m just not sure where I’d even start.” He said, choosing not to acknowledge the brief look of surprise that crossed Loki’s face before it was carefully tucked away. _He didn’t think I’d actually be willing to tell him anything_ , he thought.

“At the beginning is traditional.” Loki commented dryly. “You could start with how you managed to find me all the way out here, when I thought your people not yet capable of such travels.” Then, softer, as though he was afraid to say so out loud, “You might mention how you came to know of Thanos, and my… dealings with him.” 

Steve just barely kept from cringing. It made sense that that would be where Loki would look to start, as surprised as he’d seemed to be by Steve knowing of Thanos at all.   
  


“I’m not... I’m from… This sounds so stupid, but I’m from the future. Not crazy far into the future, about a decade-ish.” He started, feeling dumb as he stumbled over his explanation. Glancing at Loki, he almost expected him to look disbelieving or mocking, but instead he simply watched Steve, gaze a little intense but mostly polite and focused. Taking a deep breath, Steve forged ahead. 

“We’d been sort of… figuring stuff out, about the Tesseract, and the stone that powered your scepter, but we weren’t really aware until it was.. Well it was basically too late, that they were just a few of what were called infinity stones, and that Thanos was looking for them. We tried to stop him, but. He killed so many, and managed to get them all, loaded them into this gauntlet. He used them to wipe out half the life in the universe, some bullshit about finite resources and creating balance.”

He took a deep breath, getting himself in check. This was a pretty damn watered down version, no need to get worked up over it. Loki looked like he might be sick though, watered down or not, and cast his eyes downward.   
  
“I knew some of this, had my suspicions about other things...” Loki murmured. “He succeeds?” 

“Yeah, he did. But we were able to fix it! Undo it.” Steve rushed to assure. “It took some work, I won’t bore you with the details.” 

Loki still appeared troubled, and Steve felt both bad about it and relieved that there was a little shimmer of humanity still buried in there. 

“How did you…” Loki faltered, still lost somewhere in his own thoughts, and clearly unsure if he could or should ask. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head as though to clear his mind.

“To undo what he had wrought, you would have had to retrieve the stones and gauntlet from him. He is near unstoppable as is, but with them… I do not think you could bore me with such details.” His tone tried for light, but there was still tension around the corners of Loki’s mouth, the set of his shoulders tight and uncomfortable.

It suddenly occurred to Steve that it might have been a less than great idea to come and confront Loki, so tightly coiled and possibly ready to flip at a moment's notice, while still in possession of the infinity stones. Deciding to divulge even pieces of the story now seemed unwise, but he'd already started, and he would just have to tread carefully as he proceeded. 

“We had to get… Creative.” Steve hedged.

“Like you are no doubt trying to be with your retelling of this tale, to avoid giving away information I will likely use against you.” Loki commented, looking distinctly unimpressed. 

“Look, I don’t have to tell you any of this, but I’m trying, ok?” Steve made a frustrated noise, now unsure of his goal in this regard. The briefest flicker of surprise ran across Loki’s face, before he looked away, chastised. 

“We had to travel back in time, alter certain events. It allowed us an advantage, and we were able to undo the bulk of the damage, and wipe out Thanos and his forces in the process.” Steve knew he was skating around the truth as he resumed, omitting a lot of details, but it wasn’t exactly a lie. “But now that all of it’s done, I need to go back and fix a few things to prevent any complications in the timelines. Like returning the hammer to when Thor snagged it from.” 

“He did not have it with him already, in the time you came from?” Confusion creased Loki’s brow as he asked, and the bottom of Steve’s stomach dropped.   
  


There was so much he only knew pieces of, so much he hadn’t thought about this Loki not knowing, and again he wondered if this had been a mistake. But if he was going to give this Loki the chance he had in mind, he’d have to at least fill him in on some things. 

“Well, I’m not entirely sure of the details, I only kinda got parts of the story from Bruce and Thor, and a little more from their friend Val. But I think it turned out that you and Thor have a sister? Had, had a sister. She kind of.. broke the hammer, when she broke out.” Steve started, jumping in alarm as Loki nearly lunged forward, stopping just short of Steve, his teeth bared. 

“Thor,” Loki all but hissed, “is not my brother.” He leaned back, taking a deep breath and visibly calming himself. “And he has no sister, unless it is some bastard of Odin’s.” And then, as if the rest of what Steve said finally caught up to him, Loki frowned. 

“She did what to Mjolnir?”

Steve was a little startled by the reaction, but then remembered some of what Thor had told him years ago about the falling out Loki had had with their family. He felt like he was still missing some of the pieces, mostly in the way of context, so he’d just have to proceed with some caution around these parts. 

“She, uh, she broke it. Think he said she caught it when he threw it at her, and just crushed it. It sounds like yo--his dad had kept it a secret, kind of wiped her existence off the books sometime right before Thor was born, put her in lock up. Something about her being a goddess of death and going on a murderous rampage without his say-so?” Steve really wished he’d pressed for more details, now that he was suddenly tasked with having to relay it, but there had been far more pressing matters at the time.

“That does sound like something the All-Father would do, dealing with his problems by hiding them away.” Loki said bitterly. And then, with slightly less bitterness and slightly more confusion, “Hold a moment though, did you say Bruce earlier? You can’t possibly mean Banner, your pet beast? What could he possibly know on any of this subject?” There was a nervous edge to his tone that hadn’t been there before, and Steve couldn’t help but believe it was because this Loki had very recently been used to redecorate the penthouse floor.

“He is not our ‘pet beast’. And after an incident on Earth, he kinda got... Launched into space? I dunno, but you and Thor found him and he helped fight yo--Thor’s sister.” Steve was a little offended on Bruce’s behalf, but he wasn’t entirely surprised. 

“I dunno exactly how or why, but to stop her you guys had to unleash a fire demon or something, destroyed her and your homeworld. You, Thor and Bruce were on your way to Earth with what was left of the planet’s population when…” Steve swallowed hard, remembering the horror in Bruce’s voice as he told of the massacre. The heaviness, grief, and rage that hung over Thor like the ever present storms that followed in his wake. He couldn’t meet Loki’s eyes. 

“When what, Captain?” Loki sounded as though he was barely able to grit the words out between his teeth, and Steve hazarded a look at his face. It was pinched and drawn, an array of emotions playing across his face, the most easily recognizable of which were confusion and hurt. 

“Thanos caught up to the ship you were on.” Steve forced himself to continue, regret steadily increasing, and he braced himself to be prepared for an attack, in case Loki lashed out or something. “Apparently he knew you’d acquired the tesseract again, and was still miffed about the whole invasion thing. Val managed to get some of the survivors out, but the rest were… they didn’t make it. I guess he managed to take the stone from you, destroyed the ship. From what I know, it sounds like only a lucky break Thor and Bruce made it out at all. I don’t… I don’t know a whole lot past that, Thor doesn’t like to talk about it, and Bruce gets pretty upset so he tries to keep it fairly broad.” 

This was not how he’d been expecting this to go, and he couldn’t decide if it was better or worse than dancing around the infinity stones in his pack. 

“He slaughtered them. So Ragnarok came, and those who survived still met with a gruesome end.” Loki’s voice sounded flat, his face gone horribly blank again as he seemed to be processing everything. “I assume I, likewise, meet such a fate, since you’ve made no mention of me from your time?”

“Thor doesn’t...” Steve started.

“Thor doesn’t like to talk about it. So it is true.” He nodded. Steve’s eyes dropped to Loki’s hands, where he was twisting his fingers together in what he could only assume was a nervous gesture. 

“If...” Loki started, and it seemed so strange to Steve how hesitant he seemed, how out of focus and quiet compared to only a short while earlier, “If you come to a decision about what to do with me, and decide to return me that I might meet that fate, I promise I will fight you every step of the way. I will either escape you or destroy myself, but I will not go like a sheep to the slaughter. I will not go back to face him if I can help it.” 

“No, absolutely not! I’m not going to make you go back to that," Steve assured him. 

Only, hadn’t that basically been the original plan? To restore Loki and the tesseract to the time and place they’d come from? Which would mean sending Loki back to meet that fate, a death at the hands of someone he clearly (rightly) feared. But Steve had realized while talking with Bruce, even if he returned all the stones, set everything to right, there would still be branching timelines, different realities born of these endeavors. Sure, some of them would feed back into the main one, but there would still be variations that would feed away into their own ends. And with that being the case, he figured that they could maybe let this slide too.

“I was thinking that, once I’ve finished doing what I need to do, I could, I dunno… take you somewhere you won’t have to worry about Thanos.” Steve suggested, putting voice to the half an idea he’d been sitting on for the last little bit. 

“Truly, you think such an idea likely or wise?” Loki was looking at him suspiciously, and Steve could all but see him starting to pull the haughtiness around himself like a cloak, preemptively bracing against the possibility of hope or the likelihood of being let down by it. 

“We could make it happen. Might have to house you somewhere we could keep you under supervision for a while, but with a little time you could be…” It was the wrong thing for Steve to have said. Loki was on his feet in an instant, and Steve, startled, followed suit, weapons in hand and ready just in case.

“I will not be treated as some charity case, so that you may applaud yourselves at my reformation! To be truly reformed, I’d have to be repentant, and I am far from that.” He sneered, working himself up. “I am now, and have always been, a monster. I chose to let those traits be sharpened that I might be stronger for it, that I might be able to better take my vengeance and rightful place, and I only regret that your pathetic little team proved to be such a nuisance and thwart me.” 

Steve arched an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. “Does telling yourself that help you sleep at night? Does lying to yourself about what you are and the mistakes you made make you feel any better?”

There was color high on Loki’s cheeks, and a feverish light in his eyes. His eyes darted from Steve to the exit, and he licked his lips, looking ever so slightly unsure. 

“I feel...I..” And just as suddenly as his rage had swelled, it seemed to drain from him. Not only did the fight seem to go out of him, but Loki abruptly sagged against the wall behind him. He folded to the floor, eyes rolling up into his head as a slight tremor ran through his shoulders. 

“Loki? Loki!”  
  
Setting his weapons carefully to the side, Steve knelt in front of Loki, reaching out to lay the back of his hand against his forehead. Loki tried to push his hand away, shrinking back a little as he did so.

“Don’t, don’t need your help.” He mumbled, trying to curl in on himself and away from Steve.

“I’d say that you do need my help, since healthy people don’t collapse like that.” Loki’s forehead seemed warmer to Steve than it should, but he knew that he ran hot, and he had no idea what was normal for someone like Loki. “Loki, I need you to stay with me. D’you know what might be causing you to feel faint?”

Holding up his cuffed hands, Loki attempted a smirk, taking a moment longer to gather his energy to speak. 

“These suppress my _seidr_ , my magic, which is very much tied up in my vital functions.” He paused, taking a deep breath, as he struggled to keep his eyes open. “They were only meant to stay on until I stood trial for my deeds. They would have been removed shortly after a verdict was rendered, when I would either have been imprisoned to await execution, or been executed immediately following. Wearing them for too long can have negative effects.” 

There was a pause, as if trying to gather the words were a physical effort. “I had thought I would be able to... Free myself of them, but it seems I could not.” 

He seemed to be drifting, and Steve took him by the front of his stupid leather armor and gave him a shake. Loki made a small, irritated noise, like a kid who didn’t want to get out of bed.

“Hey, I said stay with me. How tied up in your vitals are we talking? Do we need to get those off of you?” He’d removed the muzzle before, so he felt there had to be a similar release on the cuffs. A part, the likely sensible part, of his brain was screaming that it would be a very bad idea to have an unbound Loki loose, especially so soon after he’d admitted to having little remorse for the atrocities he’d committed. But there was probably some work around, though, he could figure something out, he just really didn’t like how foggy Loki had gotten. 

“Mm, you won’t be able to. They are a little more complicated than the muzzle, you will either need the key, or someone good with magic and picking locks. Other than myself, that is.” He chuckled, and let his eyes fall closed. “Don’t fret, Captain. I just need to rest a moment, that is all. I have another two, maybe three days before the effects start to become fatal. And then I shall remove myself from your list of troubles.” 

Sighing, Steve ran a hand over his face. Maybe he should have asked for an assist on this mission, he thought, as he looked down at Loki’s tired face. It was too late now, though; he had signed himself up for this detail, and if that now included ex-villain sitting, then so be it. 

“C’mon, lay down. You’ll rest better, and we’ll figure the rest out later.” He moved so he was sitting next to Loki, his back to the wall, and then started to push and pull on Loki, guiding him to lay down where his head would rest on Steve’s thigh. Loki’s eyes snapped open, and at first he resisted.

“I do not need coddling, nor to sleep on the shoulder of an enemy!” He protested, though it sounded weak to both of them.

“You’ll feel better if you actually rest properly, you’ll be sleeping on my leg and not my shoulder so you can actually be comfortable, and I’m not your enemy. Now lay down and get some shut eye, or I’ll knock you out so you can get it that way.” Steve’s tone brooked no argument, and with a few more minor complaints Loki finally laid down and drifted off. 

  
_What have you gotten yourself into, Rogers?_ Steve thought ruefully, as he tried to figure out what his next move would be. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So just as a heads up, I decided to change the name of this fic to something that I liked better for it. (Shout out to the wonderful Peaches for her help with sorting that out)
> 
> Hope everyone who happens upon this enjoys, please feel free to share love in the comments! A special thanks to everyone who was so nice and supportive on the first chapter. 
> 
> Once again thank you to my all suffering partner who helps me clean these up before posting.

Loki woke some time later, sore and cold. He was exhausted, but he had been perpetually exhausted for so long he almost couldn’t remember what it was like to feel truly well rested. The damned shackles of course didn’t help anything, and their stranglehold on his seidr was slowly choking the energy and life from him as well. Initially he’d felt little effect, and had still been able to do minor glamors and other small feats. But as time wore on, he had no longer been able to do even those, and found himself tiring to the point of near collapse more and more quickly. His continued inability to escape them on his own added a growing sense of frustration and borderline panic to his current state of affairs.

And as Loki began to stir, another alarming realization floated back into the forefront of his attention. He was laying on the ground, but there was something under his head that should not be there. Rather, someone. The memory of the surprise arrival of the Captain, and the ensuing conversations and arguments, surfaced. Finally, the fact that he had somehow allowed himself to be convinced to sleep not only in the presence of an enemy, but to rest with his head pillowed in said enemy’s lap, returned to him, and it took all his effort not to groan aloud in irritation and embarrassment. 

Scrambling up and away from the Captain, Loki wedged himself against the wall and a slight outcropping of rock so he could face the man while having something at his back. Rogers had been startled by his sudden movement, but had now moved so he was kneeling directly in front of Loki, his hands raised ever so slightly in an almost placating gesture. As though Loki were a spooked animal in need of calming. 

“Why are you still here?” It wasn't what he'd intended to ask, but it rolled off his tongue before he had a chance to stop it. Rogers looked almost surprised by the question, then vaguely annoyed. 

“I can't exactly leave you here like this.” He lowered his hands, but was still watching Loki warily. “So, I wanted to ask. D’you think I could maybe break those off of you, possibly with the shield or hammer? Or, you said that someone other than you who was good with magic and picking locks could get you out of these cuffs. D'you know of anywhere we could possibly go to for that?” 

“You are still planning to go through with this?” Loki asked in disbelief. “What could you possibly stand to benefit from turning me loose? Would it not just be better and easier to let me meet my just end?”

Not that Loki truly wanted to die. He had once, and there were still times when he courted the idea, but that didn't mean he wasn't scared of it, or that he wanted it in this exact time or place or way. And while it was in his best interest to just play along with the Captain, that he might be freed more quickly, he was suspicious and apparently unable to hold his tongue. 

“Well, I don't really want you to die, especially in what sounds like a kinda nasty way. I.. don't really stand to gain a whole lot, but I figure…” The Captain paused, carefully thinking over what he was going to say. “You deserve a chance to find out how to define yourself. I don't think you're all the way rotten, but I think you need a chance to figure that out, and to set to rights how you've been acting in your hurt and anger.” He paused again, seeming to be scouring his memories for a particular thought or idea.

“The way Thor talks about how it went down after he took you back,” Rogers continued after a moment, “the way things went originally, you were on your way to finding that. He said your--his mom, she really believed in that, held on to it to the very end.” 

He was about to scoff, and would have made some comment on the Captain’s hopeless optimism, but something in Loki's brain sputtered and fizzed out at the mention of Frigga coupled with that phrase, to the very end. There were so many ‘ends' that could be, and he needed not to jump to any conclusions unnecessarily. Besides, he didn't know why he should care, only that...

“Frigga was always kind to me, possibly to a fault.” An idea dawned on him, sudden and terrible, and it took all his self control not to choke on it, instead asking, “Tell me she was not slaughtered by Thanos or one of his, in that fatal confrontation you told me of.” 

“No! No, she…” Rogers made a frustrated noise, and suddenly looked stricken, as though he had just realized something, and it made Loki's stomach clench anxiously.

“I'm not one hundred percent on the details. It's been a while and Thor didn’t talk about it a whole lot, but it was sometime after he left to take you back to Asgard. There was some sort of attack. I think he said something about elves? Dark elves, or something like that. But they caused a lot of damage, and somewhere in all that, I’m pretty sure… He said his mom died. It was probably about a year or two after your invasion attempt.” The Captain would not quite meet his eye as he told it, glancing away completely for a brief moment as he concluded. 

A low ringing had started in his ears, and he felt a creeping sense of cold numbness seeping through his limbs. Loki should not care, this was just old weakness crawling up, base sentiment. Drowning out his reason, his sense, burying it all under the ruined pieces of his uselessly soft heart. 

But as he’d said, she had always been kind to him, had taught him to control his magic, given him something to distinguish himself from Thor’s overbearing shadow. And though those memories were tainted with the knowledge of her complicity in what had been hidden from him, the idea that he would not see her again was not a possibility he’d looked too closely at. He was shocked to find how much it hurt. 

The look of concern on Rogers' face was almost enough to send him flying into a rage, even as the kindness of it also caused something painful in his heart to twinge.

“You’re lying,” he accused. “There is no way… Why should I believe you, anyway? All that you have said to me, of what brought you here, of when you are supposedly from, it could all be fabricated.” He pulled his anger and suspicion around him like a shroud, to hide the hurt and confusion he felt. Better to not let these vulnerabilities be seen by the man across from him, even as a disbelieving and curious voice at the back of his mind circled back to whisper wonderingly, dark elves? Where would he have come up with such a thing?

The look of pure shock, followed by irritation, across the Captain’s face was somewhat satisfying. Good, at least Loki wasn’t the only one feeling like he was on uneven ground.

“Why would I lie about any of this? Seriously, what motivation do you think I have for that? Besides, I have it on good authority that I’m a terrible liar. Also, how would I have known about things like Thanos and your connection to him, or the infinity stones? If nothing else, I think that that lends some credence to what I’m saying.” Rogers countered sensibly, and Loki felt his heart sink.

“I suppose.” Loki said, deflating a bit. “You must admit, it all seems a little hard to believe, from my perspective.” 

The Captain shrugged and nodded, patiently accepting Loki’s disbelief. A brief silence stretched between them, and Loki let his thoughts turn.

“This has not happened yet.” He said, as an idea started to crystallize in the corner of his mind.

“What?” Rogers turned a startled look on him, likely because it was an unexpected non sequitur. 

“These events,” Loki said slowly and clearly, as though speaking to a child, “which lead to M--Frigga’s death, have not happened yet, from where we are. You,” he pointed at the Captain, making deliberate eye contact, “have the ability to move through space and time. We,” and then he gestured between them, “could go to Asgard, and prevent her death.” 

The Captain looked surprised, as though the idea of altering events in this particular way had not occurred to him. Then he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

“Loki, we can’t. We can’t just go changing the timelines like that, there could be a lot of negative consequences.” Rogers sounded tired, but not unkind, as he explained what he clearly found to be obvious. 

Loki did not accept that.

“You have already altered timelines in ways you will never fully understand. You may go back, ‘setting things right’, but there will always be something small, something unaccounted for that you will miss, and it will change some part of the timeline, even if you are not personally aware of it. Why not spare this one life?” Loki gritted his teeth at what he was about to say, but he thought it might win him more sympathy towards his case. “Think how much it would mean to Thor, to know that in the face of all this other loss, his mother might be returned?” 

“I’m sure it would mean a lot to him, and I’m sure it would mean a lot to you too, but I just don’t think…” Rogers sounded unsure, and Loki pressed ahead. 

“Captain, you’ve already altered the timeline in a way you had not intended to and cannot set back to where it was. You have told me you do not intend to take me back to where I fled from, and even if you rescind that, you have already told me enough that it would still change the course of events. I do not know the details, but I do know that Frigga does not deserve to be cut down in such a way.”

Loki felt a mounting desperation as he spoke, and he was uncertain of why. He only knew he felt a deep need to at least try to prevent this, and now that his mind had latched onto it, he couldn’t let it go. He just had to get Rogers to agree, and once they’d achieved his ends, he could simply step sideways between worlds and escape. Laying low and biding his time until past the point where the Captain and his ragtag little team put an end to Thanos would be easy enough, once he had his hands loose. Which brought him back to a different problem he needed the Captain’s help with. 

“I know that I do not have much to offer to entice you to help me, but if you can either break me free of these, or take me where I direct you to remove them,” Loki held up his shackled wrists for emphasis, “and help me to avert Frigga’s death, I will do everything in my power to help you accomplish your tasks, and allow you to send me where you will that I might be ‘reformed’.” Loyalty was cheap, easily given and easily abandoned. It was something he had done before, it was something he could give with a thorough illusion of sincerity, he just had to sell the initial moment of earnestness.

Rogers looked at Loki doubtfully, rubbing at his temple. 

“I want to believe you, it sounds like you’re genuine about this. Or, at least your feelings about her are genuine. But I’ve got basically zero reason to trust you, you know that, right?” Rogers said, and Loki couldn’t blame him for his lack of trust as it honestly showed a sliver of sense. There was really only one other thing Loki had to suggest that might tip the scales in his favor.

“We could make a pact, wrapped in magic and sealed in blood, to bind me to my word and to you. I know you have little reason to trust that either, but that's all I have to offer as a means of proving my sincerity,” Loki told the Captain. If he framed it carefully and worded it right, he'd be able to break free from it when he needed to, even though it would still be painful to renege on such an accord. But Rogers didn't need to know any of that, and Loki kept his face carefully arranged, mostly blank, with just a touch of humor to show he saw the irony of asking to be trusted.

Rogers didn’t seem to care much for that idea either, his face contorting in a grimace. 

“I don’t know about that. Maybe I don’t know much, but the idea of using blood for something like that sounds like a bad idea…” His hesitance was obvious, and Loki was quick to try to assuage it.

“It needn’t be much, just a few drops. Just enough to help the spell recognize us as the participants of the agreement, that I might be held to my word and you might be able to move freely without worry of my causing trouble for you.” Blood magics were often dangerous, but Rogers didn’t need to know that, either, and Loki was experienced with at least this sort, so there would be little to worry about in this regard. 

“It’s not just that,” the Captain started, pausing to consider his next words carefully. “What all would that kind of agreement entail? Does it just tie you to me, or does it go both ways? Is it on a time limit? If we try to accomplish the goals involved, but something prevents us or causes it to go differently than we planned, will that void out the spell? It just seems like there’s a lot of room for something to go sideways, from where I sit.” 

“...You have given it some serious thought.” Loki was unable to immediately mask his surprise, and Rogers narrowed his eyes in suspicion. 

“Yeah, did you think I’d just take it at face value and not ask any questions?” He seemed borderline offended, and Loki had to refrain from laughing. 

“Not at all, I am simply surprised that someone my br--Thor would keep company with would be so cautious and thoughtful.” Loki cursed inwardly at the slip, but opted to ignore it, and hoped the Captain would too.

“But to answer your questions,” Loki redirected, hoping to distract Rogers from his suspicions, “As long as it is not part of the parameters we set, there will not be a time limit. It will hold as long as we are working to meet the terms we both agree to. By its very nature though, it does act as a binding on us both, to an extent. If we make this pact, and then you change your mind and decide that you no longer wish to help me save Frigga, and we break from that task completely without seeing it through to completion, it will void the arrangement. I will no longer be bound to my end of the bargain, which would be the worst you would suffer for breaking it since the spell binds me to you. But, if you hold up your end, and I for whatever reason try to slip out of aiding you in turn, the consequences for me would be more… dire. And the amount of wiggle room we have in case of something going ‘sideways’, as you put it, is simply dependent on what we decide upon beforehand.” 

“For example,” Loki continued, “If we decide your part is to help me to the best of your ability to save her, even if we fall short, then so long as your efforts are genuine, the results would not negatively affect the spell, and I would still be bound to my end of the arrangement. But if we say that your part is to help me save her with absolute certainty, then if something goes askew and we do not save her, your intentions would count for naught and the spell would be dissolved, leaving me to break from what I’d agreed to do in turn. It is simply a matter of what we want to lay out as a plan, set as an agreement, and then I will bind myself to my word so that you may trust that I will see through all aspects without fear of my wreaking any havoc.” 

And so long as he was careful with how he worded things, so long as he was mindful, even with all of this Loki would still be able to slip his bonds once the Captain had seen to it that Frigga survived. It would hurt, and he’d need to find somewhere to crawl away to so that he could lick his wounds, but it would be doable. But let the Captain believe that he would have no out, that he would be locked in to this arrangement after he’d achieved his ends. 

Rogers watched him, clearly considering. Loki looked back at him calmly, giving him some room to think it over. He did not want to plead too much, too hard, in case it pushed the Captain’s suspicions from reasonable but malleable, to borderline paranoid and immovable. It was a fine line he needed to walk, appearing desperate enough to bind himself in such a way so that he might be able to save Frigga, but not so desperate that the Captain would become suspicious of the confines of the spell and any other motive that might lie beneath. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut, Rogers let out a rush of breath. "I can't believe I'm even considering this…" he said, and as he lowered his hand he looked Loki straight in the eye. 

"Alright. I'll help you save her, or at least try to. And when that's all over and done with, you'll come along agreeably. But first," the Captain gestured at the shackles still locked tight around Loki's wrists, "we need to get those off of you. Did you want me to try breaking them off?" 

Loki dropped his gaze to the shackles, trying to keep from fidgeting his fingers nervously under the Captain's earnest stare. "How generous, thank you," he replied dryly to Rogers' statement, before he paused to consider the question. 

“I suppose you could try, though I doubt it would have much effect.” He told the Captain truthfully.

“Let’s at least give it a shot.” Rogers stood, reaching to help Loki to his feet. Loki begrudgingly accepted, finding himself to be a bit lightheaded as he stood. He held himself carefully, to avoid swaying and alerting the Captain to the fact that he was still feeling the ill effects of the shackles on his being.

“Here, why don’t you set your arms like this.” Rogers had Loki lay his bound wrists on a rocky outcrop, and then took up the shield. 

“Alright, hold still, I don’t wanna miss. Ready?” Loki held as still as he could, and nodded his assent. Rogers brought the edge of the shield down hard against the outer edge of one of the cuffs. 

It did not even leave a scratch, but Loki could feel the shock of the impact reverberating up his arm and shaking through his teeth. It left his nerves feeling as though they were rattling against each other, and it took him a moment to compose himself enough to speak.

“Perhaps if you attempt to use Mjolnir? Just, do not put your full strength into the initial blow. If it does work, the full force of it may shatter the restraints and my wrist as well. I am no stranger to pain but I’d rather avoid it at the moment, if it’s all the same.” Loki gave a small, self deprecating smile, hoping it would counter the look of concern he saw spreading across the Captain’s face at the comment.

“So we’ll try swinging it at say half strength, ok? If it dents, or scratches or cracks, we can try it again.” Rogers had placed aside the shield, and taken up Mjolnir. Loki nodded, before holding perfectly still, and Rogers swung the hammer down.

If the blow from the shield had rattled Loki’s teeth, the blow from the hammer shook his very core. Even with the Captain only exerting half the strength we could use in wielding it, Mjolnir was a tremendous force. A tremor ran through Loki’s frame, and his legs wobbled unsteadily, refusing to support him. As he slid to the ground, Rogers set aside Mjolnir and knelt before him, cautiously reaching out as though to steady him. Loki should have jerked away, but as the Captain’s hand closed on his shoulder, steadying him, he found he could do little more than accept the contact. He looked at his bound hands where they lay in his lap, examining the restraints for any signs of damage. 

“I believe,” Loki started, and inwardly cursed the slight shake in his voice, “that we may have to consider an alternative.” 

The cuffs were completely unmarred, a fact both impressive and frustrating.

Rogers nodded, and sighed. “Yeah, looks like it. So, got any suggestions on where we can go to find someone good at magical lock picking?” Roger asked as he withdrew his hand from Loki’s shoulder, and Loki tried to ignore the nonsensical little pang he felt at the sudden lack of touch. 

"I know of someone who might be able to help, and she does owe me a favor." The corner of Loki's mouth twisted upwards ever so slightly, and he dared to glance back up at Rogers' face. "Though," he continued, "I do not know if it would extend so far as to help with something like this." 

"Well, it's the best lead we've got at the moment. So, where are we headed?" Rogers asked, all business once again. 

"If you'd let me use the tesseract, just briefly, I can get us there with no risks of unintended detours," Loki suggested jokingly, with just enough sincerity to hint at being serious.

"Absolutely not! You are not allowed to handle that at all," the Captain cut in sharply. "Just give me the coordinates," he continued, softer, "I'll make sure to get us there." 

"As you'd have it." Loki conceded, inclining his head slightly in acknowledgment, and suppressing the twitch of his lips that twisted toward a smile. 

"And Loki," Rogers continued, "if you try any funny business, I will not hesitate to knock your ass down and sit this hammer on your chest until you decide to behave. Understood?"

Loki did allow himself to smile slightly, bitterly, at that.

"Why, Captain Rogers, I'd expect no less from a companion of Thor."


End file.
